Chapter 2 β€” Navigating A Minefield _December 24, 2002, Christmas Eve, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎀 Steve {psc} Late on Tuesday, just before dinner, I placed the call I promised to make. "This is Steve Adams calling from Chicago. May I speak with Steven Samet?" "Speaking." "I spoke to my dad and I'll just tell you straight β€” he declined to meet you." I heard a deep sigh, then he said, "Did he give a reason?" "He said, quite specifically, he _can't_ know you, and cannot re-open that chapter of his life. He didn't provide any further details. I don't know any more than you do; actually, I knew less because I had no idea Lewis Hano was married." "So you believe me." "I do, but I also need to hold you to your promise to not try to contact him." "So that's it? You don't want to know the full truth the same as I do?" "Of course I do," I replied. "All I can say is 'wait'. If you're concerned about his age, don't be, as he's the healthiest person I know except for a bit of bursitis. Even at age eighty, I think he has at least a dozen years, if not more. My counsel is to wait and see what happens. That said, I'm not opposed to piecing things together, so long as it doesn't go against my dad's wishes to not re-open that portion of his life." "I have to say I'm disappointed." "I understand. It's public now, but my wife had a similar hidden past, and the revelation caused no end of discord and strife. It subsided, eventually, but not without a lot of emotional pain and suffering. I'm sure you're hurting because of what he said, but if it's true he was in the CIA, and I have evidence to back that up, then he might be required by the Federal government to stay silent about his past." "But _you_ know." "I only know because about ten years ago, the FBI asked me about his alternate names. I had no idea about 'Hano', but I did know his birth name. I asked him, and he revealed some information, which I'm sure he did to keep me from digging, which I absolutely would have done." "Given all of that, what did you tell your wife?" "Nothing. Not even the reason you were here. The only person who knows besides you, me, and my dad, is my father-in-law, and he won't say a word, even to his daughter. His advice was to manage the situation rather than allow it to manage us. I'm taking that advice." "Which means?" "We stay in touch, we share information, and we see what happens. I wish I could do more, but I'm not about to wreck my parents' marriage and potentially open a can of worms with the Feds. I've had enough trouble from them over the years, mainly due to my Russian friends before 1991." "They were a bit touchy about things like that. I agree with your plan. Let me provide you with an email address, and we can share information. I won't put anything publicly on ancestry.com, but you know someone will eventually make the connections." "At the moment, a risk we'll have to take," I replied. "I don't know that my dad will be amenable to yielding on his 2011 target. That said, if someone else does make the link and connects the records on ancestry.com for public view, I think that will force the issue. I'm going to create an account there. What's your email address? He gave it to me, I promised to email him, we said 'goodbye' and I hung up. I had spent some time before the call writing in my journal, which was encrypted, with Katya holding copies of my encryption keys and passphrase, so it was safe. I wondered how I might go about finding information about my Russian ancestors, given Tsarist records likely didn't exist, or were found in local villages in hard-copy form only. That was a question for another day. The real question was if I could reveal anything more to my wife and children. They knew about my dad's birth name, his Naval service, and his CIA service, at least in a general way, and revealing that we had Russian ancestors only impacted the 'Tobias' persona, not the 'Hano' persona. Of course, Felipe Rodriguez knew my dad as 'LuΓ­s Hano', so he might actually know about my dad's other family, all things considered. In the end, computerization of historical records was going to make it fairly easy for someone to piece things together, and Al's advice to manage the situation weighed more and more on me. If the situation was revealed by anyone other than my dad or me, it could cause significant problems with my wives, as they'd think I kept them in the dark while third parties had access to the information. That would be doubly true if the name 'Samet' was linked to the 'Hano', 'Tobias', or 'Adams' personas. There was, in my mind, only one thing to do. Trying to navigate the minefield would inevitably lead to something blowing up in my face, and I couldn't allow that to happen. I got up, went to the Indian room and asked my wives to join me in my study. "What I'm about to say cannot be repeated to anyone, at any time, and cannot even be mentioned to me unless I mention it first," I said. "I need all three of you to agree to that, and then I'll reveal what happened this morning." "Why could we not mention it to you?" Jessica asked. "Because what I'm going to say can only be spoken about in extremely limited circumstances, and it has to stay that way, and it has to be me who decides. You'll understand once I tell you, but I can only tell you if you agree. Do you trust me, Jess?" "Yes, I trust you, and I agree." "Me, too," Kara confirmed. "And me," Suzanne added. "I'm confident what I'm about to say is true, but I'm not a hundred percent sure, nor do I know any more details than I'm going to share. The man who showed up this morning is Steven Marc Samet, born Steven Marc Hano, son of Lewis B. Hano, born Lewis Bertram Tobias. He's my half-brother." All three wives gasped in surprise. "But…" Kara said. "No, go ahead, I'll wait until you finish." "First, you'll note he and I are both eldest sons and both have the same name, albeit his is spelled with a 'v' not a 'ph', and Kara and Jess, you'll understand this β€” his middle name is spelled with a 'c' not a 'k'." "Your Social Security Card had that spelling!" Kara exclaimed. "Because your dad filled out that form!" "Yes, though there's a bit more to it, but that's irrelevant at the moment. Anyway, Lewis B Hano, born Lewis Bertram Tobias, married Marion Fitz in September 1950, about seven months after the first Steven Marc was born. Lewis Hano divorced Marion Fitz, and she remarried, taking her new husband's name β€” Samet β€” and changing the kids' names as well. "Kids?!" Jessica asked. "As in, you have other half-siblings?" "I know no details other than Steve Samet said 'siblings' when he described being estranged from his family. I don't know if they were 'Hano' kids or 'Samet' kids, or a mix. In any event, everything Steve Samet said lines up with what I know, though he obviously had additional information which I didn't have. "When I called my dad, he said that he couldn't β€” and didn't want to β€” know Steve Samet, and that he was uninterested in reopening that chapter of his life. He did confirm something I've long suspected, and that is that he and his family were Jewish when he was 'Lewis Tobias' and 'Lewis Hano', and, more interestingly, my maternal grandmother's parents were Russian Jews who emigrated sometime before 1890." "WOW!" Suzanne exclaimed. "So you're at least part Russian!" "I think, based on being half-Jewish, I could move to Israel under the Law of Return, as could my kids, because they have a Jewish grandparent." "Unbelievable!" Kara exclaimed. "Jess, I think his syncopal event is fully explained by what he just told us." "I think so," Jessica replied, "but I still want Mary to give him a complete physical on Thursday." "I told Al that after he examined me. He knows, because I needed advice. And it was his advice that led me to reveal everything to you." Jessica took a deep breath, let it out, then said, "You could tell him, but not me?" "He's one of my doctors, and he asked because he needed to know what caused the syncopal event. I love you, but you're not my physician, and can't be, because you're my wife. After I told Al, I decided to call my dad and see what he said, which was what I told you before. Then, after thinking about it for a few hours, I called Steve Samet to tell him what my dad had said. He's sad and disappointed, but he promised not to make anything public or try to get in touch with my dad." "You're afraid of how your mom would react?" Jessica asked. "You know how those kinds of revelations affect families, and it's why we won't see your mom or Troy tomorrow. Imagine my mom finding out that my dad had been married before he married her, and had kids, but didn't acknowledge them, for whatever reason." "Not good," Jessica replied. "It might even be uglier than the situation with my mom, my dad, and Troy. How did you leave it with Mr. Samet?" "How I'm sure you expect β€” I'm far too curious to simply let this go, so I'll stay in touch with Steve Samet, we'll compare notes, but keep everything private, at least until 2011 when my dad says he can discuss more details." "Will you tell the kids about their Russian ancestors?" "At some point, but not before the grandparents all go home. I don't want questions asked that might make my dad suspicious that I shared this with anyone other than Al. Just to put a fine point on it, my dad said not to tell anyone, including the three of you. Al counseled wisdom, and I followed his counsel." "I don't even know what to say about all of that," Kara said. "Will you try to meet anyone from that side of the family?" "Not any time soon," I replied. "The last thing I want is someone making this public. Steve Samet is estranged and hasn't seen any of his family in two decades, so that might be part of why he's looking for his dad, and why he wanted to stay in touch with me." There was a knock at the door and Suzanne got up to answer. "Mom said to come get her when the cookies were out of the oven," Stephie said. "I think we're finished," I said. "Let's celebrate Christmas!" "That's after dinner, Snuggle Bear!" Kara exclaimed as she got up from her chair. "There's more to Christmas than sex under the tree!" Jessica exclaimed. "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Stephie exclaimed, turning and quickly moving away. My wives and I all laughed, left my study, and went to the kitchen. _December 25, 2002, Christmas Day, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎀 Steve As was our tradition, our extended family Christmas celebration began at 1:00pm. That allowed Jesse to attend services after celebrating with his moms; Eduardo, Elyse, and her boys, plus Chelsea, to celebrate together; Joel, my sister, and her kids to celebrate together; and Natalie to celebrate with her parents. Yuriko, as she would until she returned to Japan, celebrated with my wives and the four kids who lived with us. A new tradition, organized by Albert and Ashley, had everyone draw names for a gift exchange, so that everyone would have a gift to open, though I also bought a gift for everyone, including my sister's family. Of course, I'd had help from Birgit, Kimmy, and Jesse, who had either suggested gifts, or, in the case of Birgit for her sisters, actually picked them out. We began, as we always did, with Jesse reading the Christmas story from Luke's Gospel. Once he finished, Ashley, Stephie, and Patty distributed the presents from under the tree. Patty, my six-year-old niece, who looked exactly like my sister had at age seven, brought me my gift, which was from my nephew Davy, her brother, who was eight, and resembled my dad more than he did Ed Krajick. After presents, we ate a tremendous Christmas meal prepared by Yuriko, Kara, Birgit, and Josie, and had fantastic desserts prepared by my daughters and Natalie, with Ashley, as she always did, creating a special 'dad dessert' that was made with almond flour and Stevia. When it was time to clean up, Eduardo, Joel, and I handled the duties while everyone else relaxed with coffee or tea. At 6:00pm, Terry, Penny, and their kids joined us for the evening, and we played games and had a light meal. Around 9:00pm, the entire clan had a Christmas sauna, with Stephie and Ashley wearing one-piece bathing suits, as they had been doing since they'd started developing, something which was common for teens in Sweden. Joel had overcome his discomfort with the Adams family tradition, and hadn't balked, which I was sure was a product of being married to my sister, who was every bit as sexually liberated as Kara and Birgit. When we finished the sauna, everyone showered, which took some time, and then the gathering broke up, leaving just the inhabitants of the house. The kids went to bed, and my wives, Yuriko, and Natalie went to the Indian room to relax and listen to music until bedtime, when all of us went upstairs. "Natalie should have her Christmas celebration," Jessica said as we were starting to undress in our room. "You're sure, Babe?" I asked. "We had ours last night and this morning! Go." "Yes, Dear," I said with faux resignation, causing my wives to laugh. I kissed each of them 'good night', then went to the door to the room Natalie and Yuriko shared, having heard them coming up. I knocked and waited for someone to open the door, which Yuriko did a few seconds later. "Come in, Steve-sama!" I stepped into the room. "Natalie, Jess suggested you might like to celebrate Christmas in the traditional way." They had a small tree on a table, which would suffice symbolically. "We would both like to!" Natalie said. "Make love to us, then we'll both sleep in the same bed with you." "Is that OK with you, Yuriko-chan?" I inquired. "Yes!" she said happily, shedding her robe and displaying her beautiful body. Natalie did the same, and I followed suit. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” _December 26, 2002, Boxing Day, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎀 Albert "Hi, Grandpa!" I called out when I saw him exit Commander Aimee's plane. "Hi, Albert!" "Jesse is here with the van so we can take you to Grandpa Al's house. I'll help Aimee with the ground check and help tie down the plane!" "OK," Grandpa Adams said. "Hi, Albert!" Commander Aimee called out. "I can use your help!" "That's what I'm here for! I know the swabbie is useless with aircraft!" "That's COMMANDER Swabbie to you, Cadet!" Commander Fitzmaurice, Aimee's husband, growled. "Yes, Sir!" I said gruffly and snapped a smart salute. "Adams, quit fucking around and get your ass over here double-time!" Commander Aimee ordered. "Aye, aye, Commander!" I grinned and made a purposefully sloppy salute. "You're in deep trouble now, Albert," Grandpa said, laughing. "I know, Chief!" I grinned. I helped Aimee do her landing and ground checks, then assisted in tying down the aircraft, which we'd use on Friday to take my Grandpas on a sight-seeing tour of the Loop and Lake Michigan shore. Once everything was set, we joined Grandpa, Grandma, Elizabeth, Commander Fitzmaurice, and Jesse in the van for the ride to Grandpa Al's house, where Grandpa and Grandma Adams were staying. Commander Aimee, her husband, and daughter were staying in the room off the kitchen. "Did you receive your new orders?" I asked Commander Fitzmaurice. "Yes. I'm assigned to the CNO's staff as an operations officer. I've completed the sea tours necessary for command, and this will complete my shore tours. Then it's XO of a surface ship, but not a carrier, despite that's how I served my sea tours." "Any idea what they'll give you?" Grandpa asked. "Garbage scow!" Commander Aimee teased before he could answer. "Love you, too, Aimee!" Commander Fitzmaurice said. "I'm hoping for a destroyer or a guided missile cruiser. Everything on the new ships is computerized, and that's my area of expertise. Well, keeping them running, anyway." "What are you doing in the CNO's office?" Grandpa asked. "I'll be responsible for procurement and testing of electronic equipment. Not nearly as much fun as being at sea, but you have to pay your dues." We dropped Grandma and Grandpa Adams at Grandpa Al's house so they could get settled. Grandpa Al would bring them to the house in about two hours for our Boxing Day celebration, and Fawn, Georg, and Analise would join us as well. Gerry and his family hadn't come to Chicago this year, as they were visiting his wife's family in Oregon. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” 🎀 Steve "I'm sorry to take you away from the gathering," Dad said, "but I wanted to ask if you resolved that matter from the other day. First, though, what did Mary say?" She and Don had arrived earlier, having flown down let the night before. "A completely clean bill of health," I replied. "As for the matter you mentioned, he said he'd let it be, and I believe he was sincere." "Thank you. This is the last we'll mention this matter for the near future." "Understood." We left my study and walked to the great room just as Robert and Allison Block, Jennifer's parents, came into the house, followed almost immediately by Tom and Jill Dolan, Josie's parents. Next were Chelsea's family β€” Jennie, Kent, and Colin, who I hadn't seen in some time. They were followed by Nancy Blanchard and her husband Paul, and not long after, Jake, Joyce, Joseph, and Amelia arrived, followed by Anthony, Connie, and their son Anthony, who was two. A bit later, Hope, Roger, Tabitha, John, and Danielle came into the house, and finally, Jackson, Holly, Liz, and Julius arrived. We had a fantastic time, with the kids all enjoying time with their grandparents, who they didn't get to see very often. My mom, surprisingly, was cordial to the other grandparents, and even spent some time in what appeared to be a friendly conversation with Allison Block. I felt that was a good sign, but it was up to my mom to make the first step with my wives and me, by agreement between the four of us. After lunch, Michael put in the videotape of the robotics competition that Eduardo had recorded, and most of the guests chose to watch the video of Michael's team winning the competition by the skin of their teeth. "Excellent job, Michael," my dad said to him. "Is that going to be your career?" "I think so. Computers and robots are cool." "Andi thinks so, too!" Chelsea teased. "Who's Andi?" my dad asked. "A girl who has her eyes set on Michael," Elyse said. "Michael is more interested in computers and robots!" "That'll change!" Chelsea exclaimed. "That's Andi on the team! She's cute, likes robots and computers, and is into baseball and football." "Where were girls like that when I was young?" Robert Block asked. "Not putting out the way I did, Bobby Block!" Allison declared, causing everyone to laugh. "Mom!" Jennifer exclaimed. "There are children present!" "Yes; MY child," Allison exclaimed. "And exactly where does she think she came from?" "That was back in the dinosaur days, right?" Albert asked with a smirk. "Listen, Bub!" Robert Block growled. "Ignore Albert," Aimee said. "He thinks anyone older than about twenty-five is a dinosaur!" "You said it, Commander, not me!" Albert declared. "I'd pack a parachute for tomorrow," I said to Albert. "You might be right," he replied. "Well, you two were Seniors when I was in second grade," Jennie said with a silly smile. "So Albert might be onto something!" "You went to school together?" Al asked. "It's worse than you suspect!" Allison replied. "Fran and Sam Mercer, though she was Fran Sorkin then; Bev Thompson, who I'm sure Steve knows, because she became Bev Vaughn; Jennie, and her future husband Jim, who died in Vietnam; Alan Blanchard and Nancy Morton, Kara's parents; Carl Woody; Don Courtney. All of us were at Milford Main in the late 50s and early 60s." "Wow!" I exclaimed. "I didn't realize you all knew each other! I bet there are some interesting stories to tell!" "It was around 1960!" Josie said. "How interesting could they be?" All the named people who were there laughed. "You might be surprised," Allison Block said with a smirk. "Even without access to the Pill, teenagers were still teenagers!" "Something true since the first human turned thirteen," I chuckled. "Nothing changes!" "Steve, do you know a Jonathan Kane?" Jennie asked. "I've met him a few times," I replied. "Why?" "His mom and I are friends from back then, too. I'm sure there are other connections." "That's when I met Kent van der Meer," Nancy said. "Alan was a member of his church." "Someone should collect their stories and write them," Jennifer said. "I think it would be interesting. Well, so long as they leave out ANYTHING about my mom and dad having sex!" "Oh, stop!" I chuckled. "I know you're just taking the piss, as my British friends would say!" "What's that mean, Dad?" Ashley asked. "Mocking, teasing, or irreverent, especially in a sarcastic way," I replied. "So, Albert, basically all the time?" she asked with a silly smile. "Sod off, Seppo!" Albert said in a near perfect Yorkshire accent he'd learned while visiting Jane and her family. They'd actually be visiting for New Year's, swinging by Chicago on their way to a holiday in Florida. "Seppo?" Connie asked. "Cockney rhyming slang," I replied. "It means Yankee. Yank, septic tank, Seppo." "How rude!" I chuckled, "I believe that's the point!" Most everyone stayed until about 10:00pm, but we didn't have a group sauna, as there were quite a few people who would not have appreciated it. That didn't stop our family from using it before bed, though, and afterwards, my wives and I made love before falling asleep. _December 27, 2002, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎀 Steve "Well, shit," I said, looking at my calendar on Friday morning. "What's wrong?" Jessica asked. "I forgot that Audrey and Brad will be here late this afternoon. I need to reschedule with Nadia again." "Bummer!" Kara exclaimed. I chuckled, "You'll have to get your cheap thrills elsewhere! Let me see if she's online." She wasn't, so I dialed her phone number and reached an answering machine. I let her know that something had come up, and that I was very sorry, but I'd need to reschedule. I asked her to call when she had a chance and we'd find a new day to meet. "How upset do you think she'll be?" Suzanne asked. "I don't know," I replied. "And, honestly, that's less of a concern because the feeling I get is this is purely about sex, with no relationship and no bonding." "Something you've begun to avoid," Jessica observed. "It's why you've turned down the medical students who are looking to bang the hot husband of an Attending for stress relief!" "There's also our rule about the hospital," I replied. "And that is important." "You did consider Jessica's offer of a waiver for Allyson," Kara said. "To repay the favor she did for Jessica!" I chuckled, "I did, and she is cute, though a bit out of my preferred age range!" "SHE'S YOUNGER THAN ME!" Jessica growled. "But not me!" Suzanne smirked. "He loves you, Jess, and you know it!" Kara declared. "And you even had some private time with him the other day. I'm willing to bet he didn't think you were too old then!" "I'm teasing, of course," Jessica said. "We know Tiger's sweet spot. I will make an exception if you want one, Tiger." "Assuming Allyson was serious about the favor, and assuming it won't cause problems at work, invite her over in January and we'll see if we click." "That's more important for you now than it was before," Suzanne observed. "Not that you didn't do it in the past, but ever since Emilee Krueger, you've focused on the mindfuck." "True," I agreed, "though there have been some exceptions. That said, the mindfuck is most important." "It sounds as if your thinking has shifted somewhat," Kara interjected. I nodded, "It has, but only in the sense of gaining clarity. I think, after the Spring Break trip, if it happens, there will be fewer new girls; in fact, I suspect new girls will be a rare exception." "Is this some kind of reaction to what happened on Christmas Eve?" Suzanne asked. I shook my head, "No. but the whole 'referral' bit starting up again bothers me. This isn't directed at any of you, and it's not about Allyson, or even Keiki." "Nadia," Kara suggested. I nodded, "I think that's the thing that helped clarify. Granted, I don't know her, which is actually part of the problem, but I get the impression that I'd simply be playing a part in a performance, and that just feels wrong. I think, in the end, my answer to her is 'no', and I'll seek out potential subversives as I always have, but after Spring Break, new girls will be few and far between." "I notice you keep saying 'after Spring break'," Suzanne observed with a smirk. "So sue me," I chuckled. "Only a complete idiot would pass that up!" β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” 🎀 Albert "Your aircraft," Commander Aimee said once we climbed into our seats. "My aircraft," I confirmed. "Take us out over the lake, then along the lakefront, as far south as Gary and as far north as Milwaukee. I'll only take over if you ask me to or there's an emergency." "Albert flying IS an emergency," Grandpa Al teased. "He's a natural," Commander Aimee said. "Smooth, calm, cool, and collected. If he can get jets, he'll end up at Top Gun." "If he does a low pass by the tower, they'll put him in the brig!" Grandpa Adams said. "Nah, he's only interested in a low pass over his Yorkie!" Grandpa Al said. "When will you see her?" Commander Aimee asked. "On Tuesday," I replied. "They're in Chicago for New Year's, then going to Florida. Excuse me, I need to get us on our way." I triggered the radio, requested taxi clearance, which I received. I followed the procedures, released the brakes, and taxied to the end of the runway. I stopped, asked for clearance, and was told to hold for traffic, then a minute later was cleared to take off. I brought the engine up to speed, checked all the gauges and controls, and seeing everything was set or reading correctly, I released the brakes. "Rolling," I said. I followed the usual takeoff procedure, and the plane lifted into the air. "Very smooth," Aimee said as the plane climbed away from Meigs Field. "Good enough to pass your licensing exam." "Thank you." I switched on the new GPS unit Aimee had installed, but only used it as a check on my navigation by landmarks and compass. We flew the route Aimee had filed, as I couldn't file my own flight plan, taking us as far south as Gary and as far north as Milwaukee, before we returned to Meigs and I received landing clearance. "Excellent landing!" Aimee said when we touched down. "Easy pass." I taxied to the ramp, found our slot, and stopped the aircraft. We performed our final checks, tied the plane down, then headed back to the house. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” 🎀 Jesse "Hi!" Scarlett exclaimed when she walked out of the secure area at Midway early on Friday afternoon. "Hi!" I said, as we exchanged a quick hug. "Did you check a bag?" "No. I'm going home on Tuesday, and we're just hanging out, so I could fit what I needed in my carry-on." I took her bag, slung it over my left shoulder, then took her hand, and we left the terminal to head to the parking garage. "I never asked, but what's the scoop with the party tomorrow?" Scarlett inquired. "It's guys from the hockey team and girls from the softball team. Dad gave us the run of the main house, and everyone will be out except Yuriko, who won't bother us. My moms will be around, but won't bother us, either. We'll dance, play games, and do the usual party stuff, plus a sauna." "Everyone wearing bathing suits, though, right?" "No. Naked." "How many people?" Scarlett asked. "Thirty. We didn't invite any Freshmen, which eliminated about a quarter of both teams, and didn't invite anyone we felt was either prudish or who might publicize." "And you expect me to be naked in front of all your High School hockey buddies?" "Expect? No. You're invited, of course, but nobody is required to participate." "And a bunch of High School girls are going to be naked in front of a bunch of guys, just like that?" "Just like that," I replied. "Is there _anything_ about your life that isn't crazy?" Scarlett asked, sounding slightly frustrated. "No. Honestly, it's up to you, and I won't be upset or bothered either way." "But you want me to." "I want you to do what you feel comfortable doing," I replied. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I'm comfortable doing it, it's something I've done before, and being naked in the sauna is normal for all of us." "And that's something you'll do with your family?" "You mean when I eventually get married? Probably. I don't agree with my dad on everything, but mostly he has the right attitude and approach." "OK to ask where you disagree?" "I want to marry one person, have kids, and be together as a couple for life. That didn't work for Dad, which is how he ended up in his current situation." "What do you mean when you say it didn't work?" "I obviously don't know all the details, but Mom One has said that the only time my dad's life was stable was when there was a trio of girls fulfilling different roles. It wasn't about sex, though he mostly had sex with them, but not always, because for a time, his sister filled the 'confidante' role. I also know Aunt Kara has her own needs, and the two of them found Aunt Jess, and, as Mom One predicted, they finally found Suzanne as the permanent third." "And the girlfriends?" "It's more complicated than that," I said. "Dad's relationships are complex, and sex is only part of it, and not the most important part. I explained about our Hangouts and Dad's Philosophy Club. The way dad bonds with people emotionally and spiritually nearly always leads to sex, but it's a symbol of the bond, not the bond, if that makes sense." "And you?" I chuckled, "A red-blooded American teenager! I like sex and don't see the point in forming a permanent relationship until I'm ready to settle down, which is likely four or five years from now. People change so much in High School and college that you can't really know them until around age twenty-two, or even a bit older after they've started working. "I know that might sound like an excuse, but it's true. According to Mom One, Dad basically had a major reset the Summer before his Senior year at IIT. His friend Karin β€”Β a girlfriend at that time β€”Β pointed out that their relationship was a teenage fantasy, and that actually prevented them from having an adult relationship. They were still close, but had grown apart. She forced a reset, and that helped Dad finally clarify things. "And as much as I loved Francesca, I think that's where we were headed as well. I've changed a lot in the past two years, and will change more in the next six. Sure, people never stop changing, but High School and college are when you figure out who you are and set the course for your life. that's the fundamental reason for not wanting a committed relationship at the moment." "And it lets you get laid as much as you want with no limits." "Except there are limits," I countered. "And I'm learning about relationships and doing my best to discover what I need in a life partner. Girls do the same thing, and depending on their views, sex can be part of it or not. Be honest, please β€” do you know exactly what you want from your life partner?" "If I say 'you', you'll be upset." "No, I won't be upset, I'll simply say that I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment. I like you a lot, but I'm also only sixteen. I'll be seventeen in February, and I have one more year of High School after this one, then four years of college. I won't be the same person when I graduate from UW Madison that I am now, and you won't be the same person when you graduate in two-and-a-half years. "For you, the changes might be more subtle or less extreme, because you're twenty, but they could also be huge. Mom One didn't come out as lesbian until she was twenty, which is a pretty huge change, and didn't decide not to marry my dad until she was twenty-one, which was pretty earth-shattering for him." "He expected a lesbian to marry him?!" "Remember, they were boyfriend and girlfriend and planned a future together, and they made me _after_ Mom One came out. High School and college were mostly a mess for Mom One until she met Mom Two at Stanford. I know that seems like an extreme case, but my point is, people change. And yes, they change all the time, but as I said before, High School and college are the most volatile times." We reached the car, I put Scarlett's bag in the back seat, we got in, and I started the car. "What you say makes sense," Scarlett said as I backed out of the parking spot. "But I can't change how I feel." "And I'm not asking you to," I replied. "I'm simply saying what's possible." "I know. I plan to get my Master's at UW Madison, which would be when you start your Sophomore year. They have a great program and that would give us a chance to be together more." "And there's a strong probability that plan will work, at least in terms of seeing each other more. What happens beyond that, nobody can predict." I stopped to pay the parking fee, then pulled out onto Cicero Avenue. "Please don't take this the wrong way," Scarlett said, "but I suppose it's my fault for falling for a guy in High School who is chronologically three years younger, but acts more like someone who is even older than I am." "Do you regret what happened during hockey camp?" "No! It was exactly what I wanted and needed. It's just…I fell in love with you. You don't feel the same way, do you?" "I think the only thing I can say is that I really like you, want to keep seeing you, and believe what you want is _possible_, but I don't want you to misunderstand me. It's also the case that love is more complex than most people think. I don't remember discussing it with you, but in Greek, there are six main words for 'love' and they all have different nuances. Saying 'I love you' often has very different meanings for people, even if they don't realize it. It's all based on using a single word to convey different types of love. That's why I'm not saying it β€”Β I don't want you to misunderstand." "I don't. I think I know what you mean and how you feel. I also think all I can do is what I'm doing, and hope for the best." That's all any of us can ever do," I confirmed.